Archive for the ‘Things Kids Say’ Category

Other People’s children

Monday, October 8th, 2007

So I’m on the phone yesterday, with a client. Its going well until I start getting the incoming call beep. I check the number and its someone I don’t recognize, but its local, meaning its for one of the kids. I ignore it because clients are more important that kids calls.

Only, this kid calls every two minutes. Hang up, call again, hang up call again, lather-rinse-repeat. This is the second kid that has done this. Why can’t parents TEACH their kids that if someone doesn’t answer the phone, then MAYBE just MAYBE
a)we aren’t home and can’t answer the phone
b) The current call is MORE IMPORTANT than YOU are you rude little carpet monkey.

When I finally answered the call(and the client was a little put out from having to repeat things 3 and 4 times) I pretty much reamed the kid. And tomorrow I plan on reaming the parent.


My kids have to ASK to use the phone. And they are time monitored. They have proper manners for
a) Answering the phone and taking messages correctly
b) Being polite
c)They say “Yes Ma’am(sir) and Thank you when appropriate.

There is another kid that (thankfully) doesn’t call anymore. Quite frankly, the mom doesn’t deserve kids because her daughter is the most ILL mannered, RUDE little asswipe I have ever encountered. My kids REFUSE to answer her calls or to go anywhere with them. Sadie calls and the conversations go like this

Sadie: Is Katy there?(note, she did not identify herself at all)
Me: Nope.
Sadie: Well, where is she?!?
Me: None of your business. She isn’t here.
Sadie: Why won’t you tell me where she is???
Me: hangs up.

Sadie: Is Katy there?
Me: Yes and she doesn’t want to talk to you
Sadie: Why not?
Me: Because you are rude, you basically physically abuse her by hitting her or you verbally abuse her by threatening to hit or by emotionally manipulating her. She has chosen NOT to communicate with you until you develope some manners, grace and basic human civility.
Sadie. I want to talk to her now.
Me: Exactly..and I hang up.

And then her mom calls
Michelle: Hi, can Katy come over and play with Sadie?
Me: No and I told Sadie why.
Michelle: What do you mean?
Me: Your child has horrific habits of physical and mental abuse. You seriously need to spend some time with her so you see her absolutely unacceptable she is around other children.
Michelle: Can I borrow 30 dollars? We’re out of…
Me: Hangs up.

On Borrowing Hats

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

It was Crazy Hat day at school. Mel offered Becky her prized hat to wear.

Mel: How’d it go?

Becky: They said I looked like either a Pirate or a Three Musketeer

Me: You looked like a candy bar?

Becky: No a Three Musketeer.

Me: You mean a “musketeer”  Three Musketeer is a candy bar or THREE male musketeers

Becky: Oh

Conversations Before Dawn

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

A conversation one morning before school…

 While paying homage to her reflection
Katy:(to Becky) I had a dream last night that I took your phone to school with me

While searching for her shoes
Becky: (To Katy) And then I had a dream that I beat the snot out of you for touching my phone.